Your wedding should be one of the happiest days of your life, as you and your betrothed commit your love to one another in the company of your family, friends, and community. While the romance of the day will be undoubtedly high for you and your beloved, a wedding can also become the unfortunate occasion where old grudges and family wounds come out of the woodwork, bare their teeth, and create a stressful and drama-filled environment.
Don’t let unwanted drama threaten your emotional well-being on your happy day. Whether you’re worried about your crazy uncle and step-father coming to fisticuffs or you’re afraid the maid of honor’s past relationship with the best man might come tumbling out during the toast, here are six ways to ensure a drama-free wedding.
Talk to People Ahead of Time
Very few people want to cause trouble at a wedding, and it’s safe to assume that your friends and family want nothing more than to see you happily hitched in a way that doesn’t reduce you or other guests to tears. If you’re worried about how someone in your wedding party or family may act in the presence of another guest, gently take that person aside a few weeks ahead of time, and tell her of your fears. Use de-escalating language, and be careful to avoid harsh or accusatory terms and tones. Simply state that you know how being around so-and-so might bring up some negative emotions. Then, carefully ask for her assistance in keeping things kind and civil throughout your big day.
Let Everyone Know Their Role
Whether your wedding is scheduled to take place in one of the many Los Angeles venues and banquet halls or you’re throwing a small, rustic country wedding in a small town in Connecticut, letting everyone know exactly what their role is on your Big Day can keep tempers in check. From fathers and aunts to cousins and childhood friends, take a few minutes to explain to everyone who matters to you just what is — and what isn’t — expected of them. It will keep over-achievers from overstepping their bounds, and it will clear up any confusion about who is doing what.
Don’t Invite Troublemakers
Sadly, some people behave as though they were built to spill, and no amount of mild-mannered, reasonable talking is likely to get them to give up their rabble-rousing ways. If you have a friend or family member who’s inclined to getting into drunken brawls, spreading pernicious gossip, or otherwise ruining a good time, consider leaving that person off the guest list. While it may cause hurt feelings at the outset, keep your eyes set on the goal of achieving a peaceful wedding day.
Refuse to Be a Pawn
Occasionally, brides and grooms are treated as a chess piece in someone else’s emotional game, where family members try to do harm to one another. If anyone at any time fills you in on someone else’s deviant behavior and tries to cajole you into taking sides, don’t do it. Only by setting boundaries and honoring them will you be able to avoid the pitfalls of another’s drama quest. Listen kindly, and state firmly that you won’t pick sides. Then, explain that you have other things to attend to and get away from the conversation.
Don’t Hire Family
Your niece may be a fabulous photographer with a budding business, and while you’re probably right that she’ll do a great job, do you really want to find out otherwise? To avoid headaches and hurts that could haunt you at every family reunion the rest of your life, stick to hiring strangers. Catering, video, photography, flowers, organist — if you can hire a professional, do so. It will ensure your family is able to enjoy the festivities fully, and it won’t create any potential conflicts.
Choose Love and Positivity
Even when you’ve followed all the advice already given, there’s no guarantee that drama won’t cloud your wedding day. If you find yourself in the middle of your reception with two screaming guests and a roomful of stunned people, it isn’t your fault. Ask a trusted friend to intervene, and tell the band to keep playing. Above all, choose love and positivity in even the worst situation, and, given the occasion, that shouldn’t be too hard. After all, you just married the love of your life didn’t you?
Having a drama-free wedding day should be every bride and groom’s right. Practice these six techniques, and even if the storms of chaos threaten, you’ll be able to rise above them to clear, serene skies.
